"I’m not going to try and prove that I deserve you in my life."

I’m done always thinking I’m to blame when people decide to leave. I’m done trying to give people a reason to stay when in reality I shouldn’t want someone who doesn’t want to be here. I’m done investing time and energy into people who just don’t care. I’m done picking myself apart for people who only ever took everything I had to give and left once they realized I didn’t have more in me. I’m done pretending to be someone I’m not simply to fit the mold of their expectations. I’m done waiting for people to come back when they shouldn’t have left in the first place. I’m done trying to find reasons why. I’m slowly starting to accept maybe my destiny isn’t attached to people who don’t want to be here. Maybe what I first think of as a loss is truly a gain in my life because if I’m losing someone who doesn’t care about making an effort to stay maybe someone who truly wants a spot in my life will get it. And as much as I’d love to think I have control of my life I’m slowly accepting there are factors that will never be within my control. The truth is now I’m at a point that if you don’t want to be here I’m not going to ask you to stay. I’m not going to try and prove that I deserve you in my life. I’m not going to try so hard. Because relationships aren’t supposed to be so difficult. The truth is if you want to be in my life you will always have a place. You will always find me in the middle meeting you halfway. But I’m slowly starting to realize those people I value more than myself, the people I try a little too hard for, the people I fear losing are usually the ones to go first. I’m slowly starting to learn maybe it isn’t about letting go. Maybe it’s just about learning who isn’t holding onto me as tightly as I am them.